Today, I am the Fool

So, I’m driving up to Best Buy to pick up a cheap laptop (more on that story at a later date) and my truck dashboard lights up. My ABS light is on, the Battery Warning light is flashing, the voltage meter is bouncing (on the high-end of the scale), and there is a strange clicking noise coming from the fuse box near the passenger seat.

All of these signs appear to indicate something is wrong.

Could it be? Why, yes. My battery is dead.

But – the truck is running fine. I tell myself, “Who needs ABS anyway. I’m not even sure what ABS means?!?!“

So, I get home and park it – hoping that the auto repair fairies will come by in the evening and magically repair the truck.

Well, after getting ready for work this morning, I went into the garage to head out for the day, opened the driver-side door and noticed that there was no interior light. It did not take long to don on me that today is indeed April Fool’s Day – and my truck had just played the ultimate prank. Plus, those damn fairies didn’t show up, as I had expected.

My battery was done for – proudly displaying this characteristic via a little red indicator on the top (which is normally green).

Now my real adventure would begin – being a bachelor living alone without a second vehicle at my disposal. I am fortunate to have an auto parts store that is about 1.5 miles away, but that’s a little far to walk (carrying a 10lb battery). I should also mention – in proper April Fools fashion – that the earth has also decided to deliver a pelting snowstorm at exactly the same moment that I need to venture out for a new battery.

The perfect steed - a 1988 Specialized RockHopper

Fortunately, I am mildly equipped to handle this type of situation. If you haven’t noticed already, I do a fair share of biking.

Now, if you know of anyone else who also does a fair amount of biking, you will find one common characteristic between us. We all own a ridiculous number of bikes. Biking is much more than the simple enjoyment of the exercise. Just like a Harley Davidson owner is forever tinkering with his motorcycle, a bicycle rider is forever working with their equipment and finding new reasons to buy more bikes. Thus, it may seem odd to you (although not to me) that I actually own a bike that is prepared for this exact scenario – lugging a 10lb battery back and forth to a store – but it falls within the very culture that defines me as a cyclist. I have a bike just waiting to accomplish this exact task.

My late-1980s Specialized Rock Hopper is the perfect steed to strap on the plastic, lead, and acid-filled monstrosity and head out for a ride. Weather, be damned.

Welcome to April - in Minnesota

So, that was my solution. It’s not so easy navigating with an extra weight positioned so high on the bike (a little top-heavy), but the massive wall thickness to the bike’s steel tubing was up for the task and performed beautifully. Plus, what’s an extra 10lbs to a 50lb bike. When the Specialized engineers were designing this bike – they were not only making it nearly indestructible for off-road use, but must have considered that someone, somewhere would be strapping massive amounts of weight to the rear end.

Away I went, through the blinding, blistering snow to seek out my replacement battery. Shy of limited visibility due to the snowflakes battering my face (hey – that’s almost a pun), it was an easy ride. I don’t think I will count it as a training ride, though, as it was more utilitarian than strength-building.

With my new battery in-hand, I made it home, dropped it in the truck, started it right up and headed into work. I ended up being delayed a mere 1.5 hours in the whole ordeal.

Thus, my truck’s efforts to make me the fool were thwarted this morning. All thanks to the fact that I own 6 different bikes ready to overcome any possible obstacle thrown their way.